The following is just my opinion, so feel free
to disagree with me. No scientific data this time.
I think one of the most dangerous messages society
writes in our heads is this one: You can have it all.
As they say in the program of the same name:
Bullshit!!! The fact is you can´t. Single successful persons understand this
really well. We as humans have limited time on this earth, and in order to be
great in any area you have to dedicate most of that time to it.
So you can not be the greatest wife or husband,
and the greatest mom or dad and be truly great in your field of expertise at
the same time. You have to choose one and dedicate to it.
The problem is when a person decides not to
form a conventional family to be great at something else, the social agenda
machinery starts to work. The pressure of all those frustrated persons living
unhappy marriages, spoiled children and sucky jobs starts to push that person,
saying there can not be happiness in loneliness, there can not be joy without
children, nothing good can come without marriage, a woman who have no children
is not complete until she does, a man who decides not to "plant" his seed is
worthless; and a lot of other non senses.
The danger in those preconceptions can be
clearly seen in the people around you. Just stop and try to remember how many
times you have heard this from other persons (or worst, you had said it
yourself): I wanted to be ________(fill the blank with any carrier or dream)
but then I got marry, so I could not afford my studies. I got a job and then
came the children, etc, etc, etc...the rest is history. The result: a frustrated
person with his/her dreams crushed just because he/she lacked the maturity to
understand you can not have it all.
You can be a moderately successful person, an
average wife/husband and a competent parent, but I assure you won´t be great in
neither of them. So if you choose that path good for you, but you have to understand
the persons who want to be great in something by staying single, without
children and dedicating most of their time to their goal.
Many examples of persons who seem to have it
all will pop up in your head, but I am convinced that if you look beneath the
surface of those persons and their relationships, you will discover they have
failed big time in them.
So what do you think? Do you want to be great
in something or you can live by being an average person? Can we have it all?
